Lolwut?



You said you played HM:BM?




Read the Manual.


Excuse me, but the following Face Palm may take a while. Ill get back to you.



Because people only play each Hitman level once, and never ever return to it and try it again in hundreds of different ways, serious and not serious, but fun ways. Right?



You should give Blood Money ago on a setting above Rookie.



You must mean the feature where you see everyone on the map, if they are alive and which way they are facing, in Blood Money. Which is less effective as you go past Rookie and only shows Targets in Pro.

They obviously didn't fly him out to LA.

lol.

I think his review is a "I only got a free Coke for this, you get what you pay for, *****." sort of thing.

Joaby's been getting on that fan boy rage tip lately.

That's just like, your opinion man.

It's blatantly obvious that this review is ****.

Especially since I easily have over 1500hrs on Blood Money alone, and I have completed Missions 2-12 all atleast 1000 times.

Then on top of that I have finished M1-13 on Pro, all SA without a single failure on blank profiles, in under 3hrs, multiple times.

I know when someone is wrong about HM.

Oh and I have seen a huge amount of **** on Absolution already, most of which makes this review look like it was typed in 5mins based off a wallpaper.

Pandaemonean is a Hitman expert.

watched it on Saturday night for the millionth time. laughed.

Ok, so, I thought it was explained well but I guess not. The button to pick up a weapon is triangle. The button to dump a body is triangle. If a bin (where you dump bodies) is near a weapon, instead of dumping the body you will pick up the weapon. If you already have a weapon (or there is more than one weapon there) you will pick up and drop weapons in an infinite loop while holding onto a **** dead body. There's no way around this except to train the weapons away from the bin.



What would that change.


If the concept of level to level permanence is too much for you to grasp, take all the time you want to get back to me.


Where did I say that people wouldn't play it multiple times? The question is whether they'd possess any motivation to play through it multiple times.


Why are you talking about Blood Money? I liked Blood Money. I said nothing bad about Blood Money. In fact, I said they should go back to Blood Money.


I mean the feature that's exactly like Eagle Vision in Assassin's Creed.





How many hours of Absolution have you played? What if it was nothing like Blood Money? What if that's what I said throughout my entire review? What if the people who are wrong about HM are IO Interactive?

Well since 90% of the original Hit Man team took a hike before this game was made it stands to reason that this game will not be a "Hit Man" game and the ludicrous behavior that is displayed in the game has appalled just about every purist of the series.

So once again another great game is ruined by mediocrity the general consensus is Blood money was the best of the series and this outing 1/10 a steaming pile of @#$%.

Why don't you explain what you mean!?!?!?

Pandaemonean is dead serious about Hitman games. He has memoriesed all the levels and runs missions like clockwork, its kind of rediculous how obsessed he is with Blood Money.

IGN gave it a 9.0/10 and some other site gave it 7.5 (maybe gamespot). With such variation in the scores its hard to tell right now who is a padantic fabulist and who isnt.

The game comes out soon anyway lets see what happens.

So why not write your own review on Absolution then and stop boring us with your little tanty?

I mean it is pretty cute that you think any of us give a **** what you think, but other than that your value is minimal.

and no one gives a **** what you think either.

People on the internet don't give a **** what I think.

I am crying now.

I do love how loyal you are to your boyfriend though Xeper, real cute....and here I was thinking romance was dead.

Why does he care what I wrote if he's so attached to the Hitman series? He's going to buy it anyway.

This is exactly like how Halo fans lose their minds every time I review one of those games. Does my not enjoying the same alien shooting **** somehow ruin their enjoyment of it? If it does, maybe the enjoyment isn't as grounded as they thought. Meanwhile, does my not liking this Hitman game ruin it for Panda? Nope. Does that mean I'm wrong? It sure doesn't.

Most of the game is walking through narrow corridors on your way to some nonsense that pushes the story forward. He's not even performing hits, he just occasionally has a target to kill.

I am a massive hitman fan and This is the only title i have been really excited for It just is amazing how this gets 3/10 and cod black ops gets 9/10 or whatever when its a Massive pile of ****

No it is not amazing, it is an opinion.

As Joaby said above in his post which you obviously lack the reading skills to comprehend. How is a low review rating going to affect your enjoyment of the game?

Well I wasn't gonna link to the other version of this because it's a bit spoilery, but this one has cut the spoilers out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wh3a4stNaf4

Watch some Hitman Absolution gameplay.

PS The Absolution gameplay doesn't start until 50 seconds in.

i like their old stuff better then their new stuff

**** nugget

Seems this game is polarising. People either love it or hate it. Joaby hated it, said so in a review, fanbois lose their ****. Nothing new here.

I'm interested in what zaraq thinks of the game.

I've watched a few play through' s and the general consensus is not happy jan.

Talk about being consistent, you must enjoy being a **** fabulist.

I suppose you are simple and think you are charming.

LOL calm down

I saw a wallpaper of Hitman: Absolution, almost every day for a week. I know more about it than you did before writing your review.

Do you know who ate all the doughnuts?

To busy playing on medium which makes the AI setting lower, compared to Purist, to notice. The cops were looking right at the dougnut but they didnt see anything.

**** hell, either Joaby is a complete **** or his review is spot on, either way well soon find out. I cancelled my preorder on steam and got 007 Legends instead, now thats a **** good game.

So what you're saying is you don't know ****. You're feeling trolled and your knee **** reaction is to attempt troll back.

I mean, I'm not the only one who didn't like it. Other massive Hitman fans hated it too, it seems.

PCGamer
RockPaperShotgun

Hey but I'm sure you'll love it. I mean, it's not like you can play it, dislike it and then come back here and contritely apologise when you realise you're wrong. That's not really your style. So I guess you've got to love it now.

Just like alllllll the other fanboys. You're the same as the Diablo 3 fanboys now. Enjoy knowing that.

007 Legends is a good game??????????????????


um ok

Yea me to i almost made a huge error so i swapped it out for Far Cry 3 it almost moves me to tears to see such an awesome game Hitman treated with such disdain i hope the devs choke on their G strings.

You're **** attempts at "having the last say" are pathetic and childish.

It's simple, if someone reads your review and knows anything about Hitman Series and is upto date on Absolution. Then your review is drivel.

If they just ran through the Previous games shooting everything and never even did a replay, then read your review and have no other info to go on. Then your review is plausable.

BUT HOW THE **** DO YOU JUSTIFY 3/10?
Answer this, and properly.

lol at the review on pc where he got 20 fps. This game is gonna be poorly optimised just like the new NFS MW.

IGN gave it 9/10.

Comparing it to blood money is silly. Absolution is a far better game in all ways.

So why are people claiming 70-80fps on pretty average hardware, along with 100-140 fps on $1500 PCs?

Hey rugal thanks for signing up to tell everyone what IGN gave it lol

This game better **** suck.

He probably saw the 3/10 and went "Who is this moron?".

I think I know what has happened here, Joaby saw the violence and cried like a girl while screaming and farting, therefore refusing to play past 1st mission. So he made up the rest after being told about it by his friend Jungalist, who actually plays all the games then tells Joaby about them so he can fake reviews. Because Joaby is a scared little boy.

/thread

Circa got a good point i have double the so called recommeded specs it asks for and still would go from 60fps down to 30fps for no REASON..... hope blood money doesnt do the same

The game runs well on PC. 20fps would have to be on a low spec pc.

But yours are what, heroic and mature?


So do you want me to answer this or will it just be more pathetic and childish grandstanding on my part?

I'm gonna answer it anyway.

How did this game get a 3/10. I'm gonna use the 2000 words where I explain that to re-explain it for you. The 2000 words, in their entirety, are here


Absolution is not a game about a Hitman. It's a game about a man on the run. Agent 47 completes literally one contract
and at the end of the game it turns out he doesn't even complete it.


I can't emphasise enough that you don't even complete a significant portion of the hits in the game yourself. You spend like 75% of a mission moving from one area to the next not killing anyone, and then when you get to the end of it you actually watch Agent 47 do the kill for you.
Also 47 fails to actually kill people in these as often as he succeeds.


MMMm awkward cover mechanics mmm pour them all over me it's like I'm back in the year 2005 mmm I love it.


The bolded bit - I was playing retail code on a retail PS3. And it crashed my PS3 so hard I had to actually reset the entire machine. Retail code, if the lingo escapes you, is code that is ready to be sold.

This is the sign of a game which is broken. Broken means a low score. All the other **** means a low score. All this **** combined means a 3/10

I've skipped quoting the bits I've already explained to you because it seems redundant.

Anyway, I eagerly await you responding with nonsense like "I'm facepalming so hard" without explaining yourself. Also vitriol. There will be so much vitriol because I didn't like a game you haven't played.

So basically you hate the entire game, why even give it a 3/10 and not a 0. You mention nothing but **** hate. Hate hate hate hate hate.

Hitman: Absolution- Why I hate it. By Joaby.

Do something useful, such as deleteing the Virus Download thread with all the win8 crap.

Dunno, give us a link.

Wait so now I didn't score it low enough?

Rage fest, at least joaby didn't give it 10 then we all find out its ****.
Dishonored got 10 so if above average =10 then ****=3.
Don't forget game reveiws are subjective just like judging extreme sports or book reveiws or art or movies etc, etc.

100% Negative
0% Positive

Shouldn't that be a 0?

For a guy giving me **** for not playing the game it sure does seem like you didn't read the review.